On saving the world

I believe in saving the world. The little things we can do every day – recycling, turning the lights off, using no more water than what is necessary, helping someone on the street. Of course I have dreamt about saving the world in a big way – influencing big policies and decision making.

I worked for UNDP projects in Bulgaria in 1999, then approached different UN agencies in Geneva in 2000. Then finally finally in 2006 I got an unpaid internship for six months with UNHCR Nordic and Baltic countries here in Stockholm and subsequently a temporary assignment for seven months as External Affairs. I enjoyed my work there very much because even though I was very far from the field I felt I was contributing to relieve the situation of refugees, especially the ones running away en mass from conflicts and war.

At my next job I helped a few pupils from marginalized suburbs of Stockholm to get a good experience from their internship at our company. I have worked as a volunteer and without getting paid. I had at some point the ambition to work with Corporate Social Responsibility and approached companies like H&M, even talked to Stockholm School of Economics about doing a PhD in CSR. Unfortunately, the school did not have the money to sponsor such a PhD. But they would have happily sponsored a PhD in Finance…

Now I am interested in Sustainability as well. My friend Albena and I went to a Sustainability event at Impact Hub Stockholm and I enjoyed it enormously! Not only was the event full of young people and interesting social entrepreneurs but we got to advise Polstjärnan as well – an organisation helping marginalized children to get integrated into society and overcome their problems via different activities.

So I still keep doing my little helpful things. Reading about social entrepreneurship and climate change, attending CSR conferences. The world keeps turning and if all of oss do little things to help each other and our planet, well, we will save the world that way! Or at least make it a better place to live in.

 

On motherhood

A Mother. A mind-blowing change in a woman’s life. It is so hard to explain so unless you have experienced it, you do not know what it is. The self is put on a shelf. Your whole being exists to protect and make this other human being happy and content. I would give my life for my daughter. I love her with, yes, that UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!

And it is true she is not an angel all the time, she can trigger me off sometimes and cause an outburst of anger I did not know I possessed! But then she can smile and that smile is the sweetest thing I have known on Earth. When I am with her I get so enveloped in her world I can jump in puddles with her and throw stones in the water!

However, I need my own world and my own interests. Just to find out that my own ego still exists and I am a separate being from my daughter. Hence the writing, dancing tango, doing yoga and whatever else I choose to do on my own. So to all of you mothers out there, cheers to you all, for you have achieved a lot with still more to go! Like I explained to an acquaintance, once you become a mother you stay a mother for the rest of you life! And I celebrate that!

Spring

Oh Spring! So long awaited! After six months of winter, though be it not a very cold one, but still dark, rainy and grey, the sun is shining again! The trees are showing off their new leaves, the spring  flowers blooming – tulips, crocuses, narciss, all scattering their yellows, lilacs and whites on the newly grown grass! My soul is warming, my heart is jumping with hope and joy – the hope of a lovely summer, of a new year bringing better prospects, of warm nights filled with the company of family and friends, and new journeys, of course!

Just the other day I sat down in the sun at a cafe by the water in central Stockholm, closed my eyes and enjoyed the warmth, holding my husband’s hand, our daughter sleeping peacefully in her stroller. As D.H. Lawrence says:

I am amazed at this spring, this conflagration

Of green fires lit on the soil of the earth, this blaze

Of growing, and sparks that puff in wild gyration,

Faces of people streaming across my gaze.

On writing

Ever since I started this blog my hands are itching to write. I guess it is a calling. I started writing when I was about seven years old – poetry, short stories, a diary. I read a lot of books, and then I spent a lot of time observing, sketching, dreaming. Literature was one of my favorite subjects at school and on tests my highschool teacher always gave me a special essay topic to write on. Instead of analyzing the works of a certain author like the rest of the class. My English teacher once liked an essay I wrote in English very much so she sent it to an essay competition in England. Even if I did not win, I was very flattered. I was only eighth grade.

I love playing with words, finding the subtle nuances, see how they impact people, but words, especially some words, they are so beautiful! I find all languages beautiful, well, at least the ones I can speak or somewhat understand – Bulgarian, English, Swedish, Russian, some French and Italian. I have been ignoring this calling for writing for quite a while. Do not get me wrong – I have a degree in Journalsim, and I have always been writing under some form or another. However, pursuing a business path is what was a priority in my life.

I recently did an online course on the Future of Storytelling. I would also like to do a course on Creative Writing. I met a Korean American girl a few years ago who did a Masters degree in Creative Writing at Harvard and had published a book. I was enormously impressed. Although she said her book had sold only 3000 copies. May be this is how I see myself when I get older – sitting on the beach and writing my first novel. Stories are fascinating and they make people dream. I would like to make people dream.

 

On yoga

I discovered yoga through my friend Zheni about nine years ago. Zheni is herself a very happy and calm person, in one with the universe, so I am really happy I was introduced to yoga by such a person. I went to her yoga class every week, bought books on the topic, bought a mat and started doing yoga at home. I can tell you all about the benefits of yoga – stress relief, weight loss, lean muscles, no back pain, gives you more energy, etc but you can read about that in other places as well. What I always tried to remember was that feeling of lightness I experienced after doing yoga. I was also breathing better and my sensations were so heightened!

Keeping up the routine of doing yoga at home proved rather difficult (especially with a two year old pulling your arms to play with her) but I continued to go to yoga classes, tried Yogalates, and recently I started going to Hot Studio yoga. I get completely exhausted in a Hot Studio yoga! I did it once for 55 min and had to stop and catch my breath three times! Easy to start feeling dizzy in the heat! May be me and heat just do not go together well…..But doing yoga is such a pleasure! My dream is to go to a yoga retreat somewhere. May be India? Do some meditation as well.

On traveling

“The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.” – Saint Augustine

I love traveling. My travels started when I was a little girl – I could not go to any foreign places but I read many books and travelled with the protagonists – with David Copperfield in England, with Remi in France, with Emil in the Swedish countryside. Once I started traveling for real, I have not stopped. And not only traveling just for a short time but living in different places. I have lived in Bulgaria, Switzerland, UK, US and now Sweden. This fact has shaped my character in different ways. I could see the world and myself from different perspectives. My perceptions of what is important in life have changed as well.  My curiosity drives me – so I will keep traveling.

My husband and I have a little competition – which one of us has been to most countries. We have both been to around 22 countries each, and have pledged to travel to a different country each year of our lives, for as long as we live. Our last trip was to Oman with our two-year old daughter and although we did stay in a nice hotel in Salalah we went out and explored on our own the beauty of nature, talked to locals and tourists alike. Traveling can be a wonderful experience and it can be a scary experience sometimes but if you let fear dictate your choices, you will not get much out of your travel experience.