What is a ball at the castle?

 I grew up with dreamy fairy tales. Like most of you did. Snow white, Cinderella, Pinocchio, The Little Mermaid – all the lovely stories with the princes and princesses, true love, balls in the castle. So the notion of balls for me was something abstract, they happened only in fairytales or in ancient times with kings and queens, but not in real life. But all girls dream of going to a ball anyways. I did too.

My first ball was in 2007 in Sweden – my husband graduated from the Executive MBA program at Stockholm School of Economics, and the ball was in the Golden room of the City Hall. Yes, the same City Hall where the Nobel Prize dinner takes place each year. What excitement! I was going to a ball for the first time in my life! Don’t you love these Scandinavian traditions of organizing balls for graduations and the like? I started searching for a dress, and since we did not have too much money at the time, my ball gown budget was limited. No fairy godmother to provide me with a free one there. 🙂 But finally I found a dress, matched it with golden shoes, a sparkly purse and a pashmina scarf. We dined, we danced, someone managed to step on the train of my dress, but hey, it was all lovely!

My second ball was in 2011. At Uppsala castle! We have a good friend, who has a friend singing in a choir, and that choir has a dinner and a ball every year on Valborg at Uppsala castle. However, that ball invitation was preceded by us salivating and looking on the ball preparations the year before. We watched as our friends put their tuxedos and ball gowns on, fixed their coiffure and adorned themselves with jewels. With our longing air trailing behind us we left the ball goers and drudged down to the train station. Our friend must have guessed our desires because the year after we were invited! I was frantically looking for a dress to wear again, even tried my wedding dress, but since I was three months pregnant already, it did not fit me. So it was the ball gown from 2007 again. We checked into Uppsala Grand Hotel and this time it was our turn to get dressed in our lovely attires, fix the coiffure and adorn ourselves with jewels. We walked to the castle (it was bit nippy!), ate a three course meal, watched the bonfire and listened to the spring songs, danced and loved every minute of it! In my excitement I even bought a dress that I was planning to wear on that same ball the year after. But the year after we were not invited. The dress is still hanging unused in my wardrobe, sighing, fluttering with expectation each time I open the door.

This year there is a ball at the US Embassy that I am invited to. I would like to go but I am not sure if I will get to go. Would my husband like to join me, can we find a nanny for that day, if not, would someone else like to join me? I can listen to some Johan Strauss and pretend I am there. After all, what is a ball at the castle?

 

What are dreams made of?

What are dreams made of? We dream about different things. Some dream of having more money, or more freedom, to travel to exotic places or learn some mystical secrets, or to meet that special someone to spend the rest of their life with. Dreams of a nice house with a garden, the patter of children’s feet, or having that great job or better health. Some strive to be the best musician in the world, others – the best finance guy on the block. We are all made of our dreams. We are made of our fears and anxieties too, but it is our dreams that are the driving force.

So does it happen that we stop dreaming and isn’t that the worst thing that can happen to us? If we do not dream about anything, do not have a goal, is that the end of our life? What if you are just content with what you have? Do not ask about the meaning of life, but just enjoy every second and every occasion as they happen. Without questioning, without judging. Are these two connected at all? Or is mindfulness a kind of dreaming as well? Where you dream of achieving inner piece and you are on your way of fulfilling that dream?

In the now, at this very moment I am listening to some jazz – Sara Vaughan, Billie Holiday, Dee Dee Bridgwater. I enjoy every note sung, the slow rising of the voice, the energy of the instruments. They make me dream. But dream back, back to a time when everything was more innocent and less complicated. I have my dreams for the future as well. Of people being nice to each other and helping each other.

What are dreams made of? Our past, our future, and some star dust perhaps.